Saturday, September 25, 2010

What constitutes a meal?

Aside from curiosity and egotistic judgment, why, you may be wondering, do I keep returning to the keyboard to blog? And what gives me the right to make such audacious statements?

Without divulging my occupation and employer, let's just say that I am in a position at work to observe the preparation of food for retail and the people who buy prepared, ready-to-eat meals.  Over the past 7 years, I've seen a lot of unsavory acts - both unintentional & premeditated - that should have earned the perpetrators a bit more than a slap on the wrist.  If I was good at telling jokes, I could probably have a successful stand-up comic career.  But I'm not, so I choose to blog.




In today's hectic & entrepreneurial society, the traditional practice of eating "three square" meals a day has become nearly extinct.  Workaholic Americans have abandoned the old-fashioned breakfast, lunch and dinner routine opting to either graze on candy & snack foods at their desk all day or just wait to binge when they get home from work.

And what many people eat now when they get a chance to sit down and fill their belly would make grandma turn in her grave.  From what I have observed, it seems that anything goes.  Forget any preconceived notions that a meal should contain at least 3 food groups or revolve around a source of animal protein.  Pizza for breakfast - why not?  A bowl of cereal for dinner - hell yeah when there's nothing else in the house to eat.  All of the following selections seem to be fair game any time of day:

  1. Sushi and a chocolate chip cookie
  2. Or just the cookie
  3. Two scoops of ice cream
  4. Sandwich and a piece of fruit
  5. Baguette with butter or cream cheese
  6. Apple and peanut butter
  7. Mac & cheese with a couple chicken fingers on top
  8. Half a rotisserie chicken 
  9. Yogurt parfait
  10. Humongous burrito
  11. "Power" bar (no trademark, could be anyone of the thousands of brands of protein-enhanced products)
  12. A couple avocados
  13. Cheese and crackers
  14. A few handfuls of cashews
  15. A quart container of vanilla yogurt (yes, the whole thing)
  16. Cup of tomato soup with oyster crackers
  17. Salad containing a variety of veggies, deli salads (ie. macaroni, potato salad, etc) & protein
  18. Bag of baby carrots
  19. Protein shake/smoothie
  20. Muffin and OJ
I'll refrain from the color commentary at this time to allow your own imaginations to run wild. I hope you will amuse yourself by picturing strangers or the people you know eating one or more of the items on the above list.  Maybe you feel relieved that you're not the only one who makes a meal out of a Clif bar or cookie.  For even more amusing culinary quirks that people like to keep to themselves, check out Deborah Madison's observations of  "What We Eat When We  Eat Alone."

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